we kissed on the street until 3 a.m. Technically Saturday. Standing outside with our arms wrapped around each other. Laughing at politics. Talking about how the world is going to shit. And racial profiling. We kiss on the street. It is 3:45 a.m. My legs hurt a bit, but I don't want to leave. My hands are in your pockets. You are not yet hard. Why are you not yet hard. Your arms are wrapped around me. I never want to leave. 4:00 a.m. You don't ask me inside. I don't ask you inside. Why don't you ask me inside.

I like it when we laugh. You have the roundest face, one that I really like kissing. We don't talk about the future. We don't talk about what we want. Only kisses and time. And not enough time to kiss. It is almost 4:30 a.m. You seem to have no intention of leaving. I don't want you to suggest it first. I need to. For dignity. For closure. Self-composure.

Now I can say two things in Spanish. Yo quiero un café pequeño. and Pendejo. The second is not so nice. But it makes you laugh. And I like it when you laugh.

5 a.m.

He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.

―Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

The duality that defines my present. Garry Winogrand — The duality that defines my present. Garry Winogrand

That is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great. When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep.

―Willa Cather, My Ántonia